Women often become illogical optimists when it comes to men. Once we like a guy, we tend to lose perspective and start believing, “He’ll change once he sees how good we are together.” While a few men may genuinely want to grow for the woman they love, most prefer to be accepted as they are. Whether the issue is fear of commitment, arrogance, possessiveness, or immaturity, he’ll only change if he wants to. So before investing emotional energy, make sure you can handle him exactly as he is.

The most common illusion women hold is that they can change a man’s resistance to commitment. You meet someone great—chemistry, shared goals, genuine affection. He admits he isn’t looking for a relationship, but you think, “He’ll change his mind once he realizes we’re perfect.” The truth is, he meant what he said. Men don’t fake disinterest in commitment—it gains them nothing. If you’re serious about settling down, believe him and move on.

It’s baffling when women complain about traits their partners already had when they met. If your guy was financially irresponsible or temperamental from the start, you knew what you were signing up for. Many women see warning signs and still believe they can reform him. Maybe he even says he wants to change, but words mean nothing without consistent action. Unless you actually see the effort, don’t count on transformation. If his flaws are serious, accept them or leave

With small quirks, the idea of change becomes about compromise. Annoyances like chewing with his mouth open or leaving the toilet seat up aren’t deal-breakers. His willingness to adjust, however, speaks volumes about his respect for you. Relationships thrive on compromise, not constant nagging. The real question is whether you’d still be happy if he never changed at all. Because most men don’t—unless, as the joke goes, they’re still wearing diapers.